My Wedding day - What I wished I'd known!
Now my wedding has been and gone (sad face) I‘m looking back on the things I wish I’d thought about or done differently. 2 things to note. 1) the day was AMAZING, I loved everything about it BUT the perfectionist in me thinks it’s ok to still reflect. 2) I think it’s helpful to impart knowledge onto others to help ensure your day is perfect too!
Remember, this was a destination wedding (in Cyprus) so some of this may not be so relevant to those marrying in the UK.
1) DRESS FOR THE CLIMATE: I was adamant I wanted my dream dress and I wasn’t going to care about the impact of the heat. Beauty is pain right? WRONG. It was 35c in the middle of the day and whilst I may have looked great, I was in agony and discomfort all day. My Jimmy Choo’s lasted less than an hour (despite wearing them in at home my feet swelled in the heat and they were so painful that I had to change into spare wide fit New Look shoes. Yep, shoes that cost about 10% of the price of my wedding shoes were comfier – always the way. Slowly, items started coming off to try and improve my comfort levels, garter GONE, suck in pants GONE, Under skirt GONE, veil GONE, flip flops ON. It wasn’t really the size and weight of the dress, (I’ve added a pic so you can see her in all her glory), it was also the style and material. Solid boning and itchy glittery material were a recipe for disaster in the heat. I just made it to the first dance, then slipped into £12 white BooHoo dress I chucked in my bag last minute ‘just in case’. So my top tip for marrying on a hot day or climate… pack a second cooler dress for later on and make sure that even if you go for a big dress that the material is comfy and your legs have plenty of space for airflow under there! (Nothing too clingy)
2) DON’T DISMISS FAUX FLOWERS: we went for real and in the heat it was pointless. By the time we got to the formal phots my bouquet looked dead. Fake flowers can be cheaper and look just as nice. Ignore the snobbery around them. I recently went to a wedding where they were ALL artificial with wheat and Pampas and they looked incredible.
3) SOMETIMES, THE DETAILS DO MATTER: I wanted to be the opposite of Bridezilla and was really hands off with the décor and just gave the planners a colour palette, style and budget and trusted them to make it happen. The table and chairs decor was ‘nice’ but not at all what I had in mind. It was really simple and whilst others commented on how classy it was to me it just looked half done and sparse. So if there is something that is really important to you, do make sure you give clear instructions.
4) ASSIGN A MEMBER OF YOUR BRIDAL PARTY TO BE IN CHARGE OF MAKING YOU EAT/DRINK: Despite knowing this, I STILL failed to enjoy most of what we had paid for. I missed the welcome cocktail and canapes as I was so busy being a social butterfly. Every time I took a sip of a drink I put it down to go talk to someone and lost it. The ice cream cart was gone before I got a look in. By the time we got to the main meal I was a bit over it and it was just after the speeches so I was a bit too emotional and wired to think about food. I’m told it was all lovely and I regret not stopping to just chill for a moment and experience it all.
5) CHECK YOUR PHOTO AND VIDEO PACKAGES UPFRONT: we didn’t realise until 2 weeks before the wedding that the video package we had got through our planners was only for a 5 mins edit to be produced at the end. We are devastated that the ceremony with our personal vowels, my toddler walking me down the aisle, all the speeches etc is only now in our memories, as well as so much that we didn’t get to see first-hand. We would have loved to have all the content, so that in years to come we could look back and re-live the day but we had no budget left to upgrade at this point so just had to roll with it.
6) RECORD THE SPEECHES: following on from the above, ask someone trusted to record these on their phone as I promise you won’t remember ALL The lovely things said and it’s really nice to look back on these and re-live the moment.
7) DON’T STRESS ABOUT A TABLE PLAN: we, like most couples, spent hours and hours agonising over who to sit with who. The truth is, everyone is so high on the emotions of the day that by that point they are happy to sit and chat to anyone! Why not go to the other end of the spectrum and not have one at all! Let them have a free for all… they might get chatting to someone and strike up a new friendship!
8) BE PRESCRIPTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WANT PHOTOS OF: I know the trend now is to be really informal, for the photographer to blend in and you not to know they are there. ‘Candid’ I think they call it. But BEWARE… if you want to make sure you have a cherished pic of you with your Grandma or Dad etc to look back on then make sure you tell the photographers and that you give this list to someone in your grooms or brides party entrusted to make sure these are captured. I have a friend who got her pics back only to find there wasn’t any of her with her mum. My mum passed away very soon after my first wedding, and even though I’m no longer married to that person, the pictures of her and I on that day are among my most precious possessions and if I hadn’t of had them, I would have been devastated. I fell short of this again this time round as we don’t really have any pics of me or us with our 2 yr old. Which I’m really upset by. On the day we accepted that a 2 yr old is a challenge to get pictured nicely and we sort of gave up, but we should have made it really clear to the photographers that this was essential and put the reasonability on them to make sure they got a good shot. We live and learn.
Finally, this is one we DID do….Steal yourself away on your own, just the 2 of you, for 20 mins or so. Go for a walk or take a drink and sit quietly somewhere. We went to our Bridal room a few times just to talk and thank either other for our wedding morning gifts etc and these moments are some of my favourite memories of the day. And above all else, don’t conform to any tradition you THINK you need to abide by…. Make the day authentically yours and enjoy.